So after hours and hours of endless ppting (Power Point) I decided that I needed a break. What does one do on a rainy Saturday evening in Singapore? Wait, let me rephrase that - What does a bored and overworked Indian on a budget do on a rainy Saturday evening in Singapore? Hits the town (read as Little India). Yes... I decided to treat myself to the familiar environs of the overcrowded Mustafa Stores, which is the only mall in the otherwise spacious Singapore, where you are constantly 'in-touch' (figure that out for yourself). It actually isn't EEEW... at least not for many of the young Bhartiyas... more so the ones from Mumbai. Right guys? It's just a little bugging coz the crowd just cannot get enough of the Buy 2 cans of Rosogullas for $7 - that's a steal even by Indian standards.
I was standing by one of the hundred odd refrigerators in the grocery section debating with myself on whether I should spend 4 bucks buying a nice (fattening) jar of Shrikhand (if you must know, I didn't buy it) when a fellow-countryman looked over my shoulder and said "excuse me", loud enough to scare the both of us (me and my debating partner) "are you from Daali?" Courteously, I replied "No" and just when I should have stopped, I decided to amuse him by telling him I was from Nagpur. Just the thing you don't want to do while tryin to avoid a conversation, especially when there is Shrikhand waiting to be picked up and a Kaaraikudi Mutton Set Meal planned in your head.
"Oh-O Naaaagpoooor, my wife is from that area" and there she was, eyeing another jar of Shrikhand (grrr) and how could madam stay out of the conversation I was trying so furiously to get out of? "Yeah, I am from a place verrrry close to Nagpur, you've heard of Bhilai?". I swear to god, we Indians have a very fuzzy idea about distances. The fastest train in India would take 5 hours to travel from Nagpur to Bhilai... even relatively speaking that is by no means, near. 5 hours by train from Singapore is KL Central (Capital of ANOTHER COUNTRY). Then started the "what do your parents do?" "how long have you been here?" The questions didn't stop and I could see the aromatic vapours disappearing from the plate of my Mutton Set Meal. I knew, I had to ESCAPE. It was now or never!
Then came the next question in the sequence, "so what do you do bhai?" "Nothing", I said... they blinked...I blinked...I had to come up with some kind of follow through real quick. Then with a rap on my shoulder he said "Kuch to kaam karte hoge" (you must be doing something)... I said "Nahi, main kuch bhee nahee karta" (nope! nothing at all)... More blinking on both ends... quick quick...I said to myself, think of something fast and then came the master stroke - before he could open his mouth to utter another word, "I am a house-husband" I said with a very serious face, which was about to erupt in laughter (is there even such a word?). I must say at this point, with the engagement and all coming up, I'm already feeling a little...ummm... how do you say that?-'Domesticated'.
Right... coming back to Mr. blank face and Mrs. I-wish-I-had-one-of-those. They were actually buying it and what probably made the story credible was that I was terribly dressed, wearing floaters and carrying a basket full of groceries. Seriously, can you get better alibies? Then for another 5-10 very very awkward seconds some staring ensued, during which time I was fighting my laughter. They fell for it-hook, line and sinker... and unbelievable... they just said, ok bbye and walked away...
While, I am glad that the really unwanted conversation, which would have only led to a business card exchange and my introduction to their "pram-throned" toddler, ended there - I can't help but be amazed at why it is not acceptable for men to be stay-at-home husbands? Why should anyone be so shocked? By all means, I WANT to be one someday (notice, no maybe) - I am saying this with conviction. I'm sure I'll bum up the laundry and turn in an inedible meal... but come on... house-husbands - that concept can and probably should exist. After all, it is time for us to declare that men are equal to women! Hear Hear!
Right then, you think about that... I'm just gonna go over to the bog... the mutton set meal is short of space in my tummy!
